Late one night, in winter 2002 Johan have his suspicions confirmed by a beep from Linda’s Mobil. It was a text message sent to Linda from a man who missed her. Johan wakes her up screaming, “how is he?” Chaos breaks loose in their apartment in central Stockholm. Quickly a bag is packed and the sleeping son wakes up from the loud argument and the fraction that is now taking place in the hallway. One wants to escape the other wants to lock the door. The son is crying desperately at Johan’s arm. The accusations and harsh words shot through the air and these two who used to love is now fighting for their lives, their souls. How could things go so wrong? How could all suddenly be destroyed like an earthquake? How did love end, or did it really?

“We had lived in a denial long enough, today we know that this was the night when the turnaround came. Not that any of us thought that our relationship would survive that night, but with the truth we could not live in a fictional reality anymore.” Linda says with emphasis.

Yes, it is true that Linda had begun a relationship with another man; she was in love and finally she saw a way out of their relationship or her prison as she called it. But there were more ingredients to their chaos. Linda had months earlier logged in to their computer and pictures of naked girls popped up on the computer screen. She did not really understand what happened when one image after another was shown. This was the first time she came in contact with pornography on their computer but unfortunately not the last. Right there and then it took some time before she could get her head together. Had it come in a virus? Had they been hacked? But in the end the truth hit her. This was what Johan was doing during late nights when he needed to work, when he stayed up as she went to bed.

Linda remembers how she felt something broke inside her and how she developed an emotionally coldness towards Johan. The wall they had in months started to build between them became completed in seconds.

Maybe it had been in a different way if she knew whom she could turn to and share their mess. But the shame was too great. Sure, she felt disgusted, but the shame was worse! The fact that Johan used porn must mean that she herself was not enough for him and that he needed something more.

It took many years before she was able to tell anyone that the crisis they had was not solely due to her love for another man there was more to it!

Linda continues: “With our own experience and through talking with other couples we know that it is still difficult for couples to talk about these things. And it’s easier to leave than to fight. Because you usually know not how to do it! “

Johan adds, – “Our story, like many others, began with small conflicts and everyday boredom, that eventually led us to the choices we a few years before had never imagined we would make. He continues, “In our own healing and walking in Grace, we realized that we had with us a lot of baggage that we did not think would ever affect our common future. No one told us that we needed forgiveness for things that has happened before we met to be set completely free to love and live the life we are meant to live.”

 The first turn and the beginning to the change came when they seek help from a family therapist.

“It was the start of a long journey, much longer than we ever expected” says Johan with a big smile and continues,

“We really thought like everyone else that our problems were porn and unfaithfulness. And certainly those actions made our marriage great damage and made it smelly and dirty. But when we met with our therapist we for the first time saw that it might be something more to our unhappy situation. But right then and there we were too wounded and injured to deal with it at that time.”

 Both agree that it was in the first meeting with the Christian therapist that a seed of hope was planted in their hearts. For the first time they met someone who thought it would somehow be able to continue to live a life together. Linda tells how affected they were by their first session. The therapist’s faith in them, the power of love and healing through forgiveness was a Divine message straight into their lives and that was the start of their reversal, one of many upcoming turns.

Linda and Johan share the same memory of how none of their friends asked them to sharpen up and start fighting for their marriage. Even before infidelity and porn stories came out, they remember how they treated each other in the worse way. They talked behind each other’s back and argued about every little detail there was to argue about. But nobody gave us the talk we needed. Johan say; “ we do not give our friends the blame of our mess we put our selves in, it is interesting how we find it hard to talk about these with others, how we don’t want to involve in other business. But we were really in need, and sorry to remember that no one could not have missed that we were miserable together.  We did not bring the sunshine so to speak”

They have also observed how media, television and magazines influenced their thoughts and actions, how these channels indirectly justified their actions. How easy it is to fill up with the wrong message when we are already on the wrong path.

“Society, friends and ourselves included gave us only one choice really, to divorce, to continue together from our actions was out of the question?” Says Linda as she looks at Johan.

But then we included forgiveness, and Grace came into our lives,” recalls Johan.

“The biggest thing is that God did not leave us there in the middle of the chaos and darkness for us to take care of, but he got himself into the puddle with us. By God’s own son, we could get out of the mud and because of Him we are washed clean, completely clean. He created a new marriage.” Says Linda and shines up.

“But we have cried, screamed and fought many nights thru, we were so broken and wounded. It is important to add that.”

“But step by step, day by day we have been walking towards a transformation. We have given each other forgiveness, receiving forgiveness and seen how our lives changed by it.”

They look at each other, smile and give a High five. “

“It was when we finally address the question: How could we end up where we ended up? It was when we started with a true and honest heart for God’s meaning purpose, answers to a happy marriage and a meaningful living where everyone in the family has a space to grow, when life got a whole new direction.” explains Johan. “We had been looking and looking in every possible corner for adventure, joy and meaning. And everything we needed was right in front of us, the Bible!  Still today nowhere else than in God’s own words we can find what we need for our lives.”

Johan makes a slight pause before he continues,

“It was when we read the Bible, we became aware of that Love may not run out. It CAN’T, For God IS love and He IS overflowing at all times forever and ever, AMEN!